September 20th 2026 / CW: Discussions of racism, mentions of war, human experimentation and parasites
This week has been more focused on me coding the site, worldbuilding and just, thinking. I also have a newfound rage within me for the system that we live in, but more on that later I guess.
First off, the obvious, I have been coding! I got most of the new index fixed up, missing fully drawn navbar icons, a good background, pagedolls and social media buttons. I am really proud of what I have done and am much more satisfied with this! Hopefully by the time some of you are seeing this, this blog will have a rehaul as well. Other pages have to be done at some point, but I think I might just make something robust and serviceable for the time being, focus on other projects. I would like to open up website coding commissions at some point, they seem fun. :]
As for worldbuilding, I have done some major and I mean major work. Given that my world used to be set within Splatoon and my previous original one was uh... a mish mash of things my 13 y/o self thought was sick as fuck, worldbuilding is not my strongsuit. My toys kissing and having drama is of the utmost importance most afterall. However, I think I got something good going on here! I settled some things such as evolution, expanded on war conflict, sociology, kept sanitization but different, settled on biology and in turn this has given an explanation for some of the character choices that have occurred. I have gotten some flack from my friends about keeping sanitization/Octo Expansion related events [or rather the people keeping this hellscape alive partially], but if I don't then like 15 characters fall apart. But also aren't government funded human experimentation and parasites cool as fuck? Hopefully nintendo cannot hammer me for that, the squid/octopus conflict that is kept and the concept of humanoid sea creatures. Social studies/myths and theories have been my favorite part of this whole process. It's so delightful to think about characters talking, some thinking behavior has more to do with species biology while others culture. The major thing left is ironing out the post war consequences and what happened exactly as it's riiiiight where the story is settled at this moment.
[I will preface this paragraph that I am not an expert on/do not experience racial oppression so in case something is wrong, I am open to learning.] This entire thing has also made me wonder how you can never truly separate the connotations a minority character has in fiction, no matter if they are themselves oppressed or not. Icarus as a character progressed from being up to interpretation to being written as a Black woman as I couldn't see her as anything else. Even though in my universe Black people do not suffer from racism, colonization, slavery, torture based on their race, his character still carries a certain weight and the way that I approach them matters. We can never separate truly separate fiction from reality nor can we separate the art from the creator. Question that came from this realization is: Since race at it's core is a social construct and people experience violence based on it, will we ever be able to be in a world without it? It is important to understand in which way we are all treated differently and on what basis, so will we ever be able to fully dismantle the concept of race? Is completely dismantling something like this progress or erasure? Can we truly dismantle anything else that has been grossly restricted and defined as as sexuality, gender, identity, ethnicity, culture...? What do any of these things mean anyway when you remove everything we have made them out to be? Maybe the diminishment of the concept lies at the end of the long road. I hope so, at least.
I have also asked myself what is a "creator" and what is "content". My thoughts on the matter admittedly aren't overly clear yet, so this is an insane man's ramble, but the thought came to be during a conversation with my friends. We were discussing the state of the fanzine community as one of them is doing a study on the shift that has occurred in their mind. The hypothesis is that fandom zines have changed focus from community to exclusivity, a marketplace. This is in part something I feel like I have to agree with, but what I realized is that this is not exclusive to zine spaces. To me it feels like we are all flattened into being these "creators" (digestible personas) of "content" (our artistic expression) for the sake of "consumption" rather than true engagement. Artists often aren't treated with any respect or regard, but this also happens between us as to how art trends obscure artists and the context their art piece carries. Then we go to who even allows art trends to explode to a large scale? Because people are most likely taking heavy inspiration without asking, playing a game of telephone until the original is forgotten and lost, moving onto the next big thing.
I feel like this is somehow related to the mystification the word "content" does. It is by definition correct, although, by implication it sours everything for me. The bitter taste like it reduces all forms of art, education and knowledge to this incredibly vague word, covering everything yet nothing at the same time. People also have this air of entitlement to art that happens due to the lack of face to face [anonymity] and connection, contributing to this sense of distance, only amplified by how we talk about art. I loathe this increasingly apathetic mentality that has developed and ridicule of genuine expression. Can no one be honest? Can no one make mistakes anymore? Does everyone have to be perfect? Why must I pretend to be the pinnacle of morality when things are nuanced? It's one of those things that I frankly fear, as I am handling topics that are considered delicate, but I guess I will just have to learn to suck it up, take whatever comes my way.
Anger wise, it comes from something so mundane but it really hurt to see happening. I was passing by a place where a kids playroom was before. I have been there a handful of times with my sister throughout the years, even getting inside myself [despite being considered too old for those things as a teen] and I think that that place has in some way marked her childhood. Now, I have found out that it is now a casino... It feels ironic. Deeply ironic. A similar thing happened to my beloved playroom when I was younger. It's funny how you can know an objective fact such as "There are no more spaces for children", people feeling like they have the right to be inside them or exploiting the children that seek refuge in the ones left, but it only sinks in when you see it take physical form in some way.
Besides all that, this week was relatively peaceful. Not much has happened honestly. I am trying to come to terms with my stinginess is coming back to bite me. My drawing tablet is becoming less responsive and while if [god forbid something happens]I have some money to cover it, I would prefer to not be replacing it. My computer is also pretty old and dying, but I had to use the money I partially managed to save up for it to cover other expenses. Of course new clothes are to be bought too because god forbid things last forever siighhh. I need to get more serious about my commissions and find a way to balance them with my personal art/life. There is so much I need to do. Hopefully it will all pan out if I just pace myself well. I am officially traveling back to uni in like a week so I pray my energy won't be destroyed. Hope that you had a good day, thank you for reading. ♥